Anger. Helplessness. Shame, sadness, fear, confusion, guilt. Maybe you have experienced some of these feelings when family members gamble or use alcohol or other drugs too much. You can feel better. In spite of the mistakes other people make and the problems they may have, you can be healthy and make good decisions for yourself.
Remember, being healthy does not mean having no problems.
Although being around substance abuse or problem gambling presents challenges, there are many things you can do.
Choose someone who is supportive and trustworthy
(e.g., a school counsellor, teacher, friend, family member, or AADAC counsellor). Let them know what is happening for you.
Sometimes, the most difficult part of dealing with family problems can be feeling alone and unsupported. Talking about what is happening for you and your family can be very helpful. Even
if the family member who is gambling or using alcohol or other drugs does not seek help, you can! Don’t be afraid to try different sources of support. Keep looking until you find someone that you are comfortable with. Consider carrying a list of supportive people and their phone numbers in the event that you unexpectedly need a safe ride home, a safe place to go or someone to talk with.
Think about yourself and your own habits.
If a family member has gambling or drug abuse issues, you are at greater risk of developing similar problems. Some people are turned off by alcohol, other drugs or gambling because of their family history. Others report that they are more likely to use because of factors like easy access, permission to use, and lack of supervision. If you are already using or gambling, consider talking about it to someone supportive.
Make good decisions about who you spend time with.
When there are problems at home, your choice of friends is very important. Choose to be around people who bring out the best in you, are supportive, and do not have problems similar to your family member’s.
Make time for fun.
You can support another person who is trying to change but you cannot change that person yourself. If you put too much energy into fixing or even supporting someone else, you may become sick yourself. Spend time on activities that you enjoy, and be around people who are safe and supportive.
Maybe there are fun things that you do with family members who have issues related to alcohol, other drugs or gambling. There’s nothing wrong with continuing with those activities as long as they are safe and healthy and you enjoy them.
Your family member’s problems are not your fault and it’s not your responsibility to fix them. Work on changing what you can and find support, but never forget to celebrate the positives in your life and build on them!
AADAC Youth Services can be found in communities and schools across Alberta.
For more information, contact your local AADAC office or call the AADAC Help Line at 1-866-33AADAC. We are available to give you information and support.
