Are you ready for a change?
There’s more to changing than just doing something different. Change is a process. In fact, by the time you decide to do something like not using alcohol or other drugs anymore, you’re already pretty far along in the process!
Researchers have looked at how people make changes in their lives. It turns out that most people go through stages when trying to make a change. These stages don’t happen one step after another. Often, people will go back and forth between these stages, learning new things each time that will eventually help them make the change permanent:
1. The “Get off my back” stage
“I don’t have a problem, I only drink on weekends.”
“My mom thinks I have a drug problem, but she just doesn’t understand me.”
At this stage you don’t think you need to change, and you don’t get why other people think you do. Sometimes it’s because you need to become aware of your behaviour. That means realizing how your drinking or other drug use is affecting your life and the lives of people around you.
2. The “I think something’s wrong” stage
"I've been on probation a lot and it's always for things I've done when I was high. I need to get straight before I really screw up."
"I used to have fun when I drank, but not anymore. But I don't know if I can stop."
At this stage you’re starting to think about changing, but you haven’t decided to change. You may be confused when thinking about quitting. Some bad things are happening because of your substance use, but you have fun too... when it’s not out of control.
Do you want to stay on the emotional roller coaster, or would a smooth ride be nice for a change? The decision is yours. It’s normal to be caught in the middle during this stage of change. It can help to get information about your substance use and find out why you do the things you do.
3. The “I’m getting ready” stage
“After tonight, I’m quitting.”
“Now that I’m not around my old friends as much, it’ll be easier to try to stay straight.”
This stage is about getting ready to make the change. You might still be questioning whether you really need to change, but the reality that you do is becoming a little easier to face. You might already be doing things like starting to meet new people and trying to avoid old friends who don't want you to change. Getting back into sports, going back to school and not constantly fighting with your family is starting to look good now. Ready for the next stage?
4. The “Here goes” stage
"I told my friends I don't want to use anymore. I thought they’d give me a hard time, but they're actually happy for me."
"I've gone two weeks without drinking. I didn't think I'd ever be able to do it."
This is the stage where you actually change your behaviour. You’re starting to do different things and realizing that there is life outside of drinking and using. Activities that seemed boring before aren’t all that bad. You’re feeling better, and hey! The sun really does come up before noon.
As you make your big change—and the little changes that go along with it—make sure you reward yourself. And tell people you trust about your decision. Their praise and support will help you stay motivated, and they’ll remind you that you’re not in this alone.
5. The “Keep it going” stage
“My mom’s been nagging me all week. I really wanted to get drunk yesterday just to forget about her, so I called a friend and we talked till I felt better. Good thing; I almost blew a month of sobriety over a bad mood.”
“I went to a party last weekend to see some old friends and ended up with a joint in my hand. It was tough, but I passed it on. That’s just not me anymore.”
Staying straight and sober takes a new attitude, a new outlook and a new lifestyle. If you’re happy with what you’re doing now, it’ll be a lot easier to stay away from alcohol and other drugs. On the other hand, if all you do is stop drinking or using other drugs without making any other changes, you’re more likely to slip back into old patterns. You may always need to work on the process of change. Some days you may feel stuck. But don’t worry; like all things, that will change.
